Seven Tips to Help Settle Into New Routines When Welcoming a New Baby

A baby sleeping

Whether you’re pregnant, a new parent, or welcoming another child into your family, your emotions are likely to run the gamut, from joy to awe to “Wow, this is hard/scary/exhausting!” When you’re feeling overwhelmed, it’s good to remember that comes with the territory. It also helps to have a few tips to fall back on. We asked Miriam Ezagui, a PJ Library parent and certified labour-and-delivery nurse, to share her sage advice.

Here are seven tips Miriam has for families welcoming new additions. (For more, don’t forget to follow Miriam on social media).

Fear is natural

I meet so many prospective parents, especially mothers, as a labour and delivery nurse. Often they’re holding a lot of excitement as well as anxiety about their new arrival. First, I want to validate those emotions. It is so natural and normal to be nervous about having a baby.

I think it’s a good sign: It means that the parents are going to be good parents. I like to remind people that a newborn’s needs are minimal compared to those of older children. As you grow as a parent, your abilities to meet a child’s needs also grow. The best way to overcome your fear is to learn more about the labour process, and the same with parenting. There are really wonderful books, parents’ groups, and communities where people can connect and grow and learn from each other.

Build your village — any way you can

My second piece of advice for new parents is to reach out. Social media and online groups can be great for finding support when you don’t have a local network of folks to help.

Facebook groups were a huge thing for me as a new mom. There are groups for Jewish moms, but not all the ones I joined were specifically Jewish. When you’re in the thick of it with a new little one, you crave interaction with other adults, but doing that face-to-face isn’t always possible. With groups, you can feel you’re getting that interaction while still being in the thick of parenting at home. And the best part? Often those virtual friendships translate into real-life connections.

It’s OK for babies to cry

When babies cry, it can be stressful, especially for new parents. It does something to your soul when you hear your baby crying. There’s an old expression, “You can’t pour from an empty cup,” and it fits parenting so perfectly. If you’re not taking care of yourself, you can’t be there for your baby in the way they need. So when your baby cries, and you feel overwhelmed, remember that it’s all right to take a quick breather and a small moment for yourself, assuming the child is safe, and all their needs are met (diaper changed, fed, lying down safely in their bassinet or crib).

Be prepared to be surprised

I have five children, and I always say that the hardest transition was going from zero to one. When my first baby came, my entire life revolved around this little person. I was running on her schedule versus being able to do whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted, and it was hard. I’d think, “Time to cook for Shabbos.’” But then the baby would wake up and need to be fed.” It was tricky, but I found what worked for me eventually (babywearing) and I built on that with each subsequent child.

Give your toddler lots of love when a new baby arrives

If you’re adding on to your family, you will be surprised to find that often a toddler needs more from you than your newborn. I got into baby-wearing when my second daughter was born and I realised, “Oh my gosh, my toddler needs 110 percent of my attention and energy, and this baby doesn’t want to be put down.” I think putting the energy into the toddler helps acclimate them to being a sibling.

Miriam recommends having older siblings be “big helpers” with the baby – bringing in diapers during changing, helping pick out outfits, reading or singing to the younger sibling, or drawing a special picture like the protagonist in the PJ Library book, My Sister is Sleeping.

Our traditions help drive routines

People often wonder how I manage to work, create content, find time for my husband, and parent five children. And to be honest, I find great comfort in the routines that our traditions naturally create: from waking up in the morning and saying “Modeh Ani,” to lighting the candles together every Friday for Shabbat – it helps set a rhythm for our life, which is really helpful for small children.

Every child needs something different from you

In your head, you think you know what kind of parent you’re going to be, but really, you’re going to be a different parent for each child. And you have to change your parenting according to each child’s needs. For example, I mentioned routines above—I have one kid who is more of a free spirit and routine doesn’t always work for her, so we let her be when she needs time to herself or time to sleep in.


About the Author

Miriam Ezagui

Miriam Ezagui is a labour and delivery nurse, a childbirth educator, and a mom of five. On her popular social media accounts, she shares what her life is like as an Orthodox Jewish woman and a busy working mom. Known for her warm demeanor, engaging videos, and storytime-style content, Miriam has amassed millions of followers across TikTok, Instagram, and YouTube.

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